Peta loves to get the sort of questions that many people might be too afraid to ask me. This question is one of them.
That might be one of the main reasons why it is one of the most honest episodes.
Did anything of the things Peta wishes she could do or experience surprise you?
You can ask Peta a question via:
The website: www.icantstandpodcast.com
Email: icantstandpodcast@gmail.com
You can follow Peta on Instagram @petahooke
Episode Transcript:
Peta [00:00:03] Hello and welcome to the I Can't Stand podcast, the podcast, answering your questions about what life is like when you have a disability. My name is Peta and I'm your host. I have cerebral palsy and I love and your questions when you send them in for me to answer on the spot. If you'd like to ask me a question, there are three ways you can do so. One. You can follow me on Instagram. My handle is at Peta Hook, which is about eight a h o k a. You can send me an email. My email address is icantstandpodcast@gmail.com, or you can contact me through my website icantstandpodcast.com. OK. Without any further ado, let's get into it.
Speaker 2 [00:01:13] This week's question came from Hannah. Hannah asked me. Do you get jealous of people without disabilities? I love these sort of questions. The sort of questions a lot of people are too scared to ask me, this is what the podcast is about. The short answer is yes and no. There are so many things that as someone who is born with a disability, I fantasise about doing. I often wonder what I would do if I was given one day without my disability. Simple things from the ability to play hopscotch. I always used to watch the kids do that in primary school, and it looked fun. And yes, I pretended to do it as I zoomed over the little squares in my wheelchair. But it's not quite the same. Other things from my childhood, like playing on the monkey bars or climbing a tree. I like heights, so I would imagine that I would have always been climbing trees as a child. I would love to have lots of photos of me standing up. There's a reason why most photos are taken while a person is standing up.
There is a certain level of authority, unspoken authority when you are told. It's somehow impressive. I don't know why. I also would love to be able to wear shoes. I love fashion. As many of you know. And when I put on an outfit, I often imagined in my mind this pair of shoes that I would put on. Because my disability was from birth and I've never walked. I still have a pretty similar foot to a baby. Just before they start walking. That sort of high mushroom type foot. I still have that. I don't have the dainty sort of foot that allows me to wear this sort of shoes that I would like to wear. Not only that, I can't really bend my ankle in a way that allows me to wear heels. I watch a lot of other people in wheelchairs wear heels and I have to say I'm a little bit jealous of them. And that's the thing, right? A lot of the things that I'm quote unquote jealous or a word that I prefer a bit more envious. The things I'm envious of other people with disabilities can do to. The things I am envious of is not because I have a disability, but it's because of my specific disability. A lot of people, I'm sure, are envious of my ability to sit on this microphone and talk to you now. I often have nightmares about what or how I would cope if I lost both my arms or lost my ability to speak or feed myself. All these things I know I take somewhat for granted. But I am aware that I am lucky to have.
So, yes, I would like to wear pretty heels, climb a tree. And if I'm being really honest, I really wish I could be that girl, but slightly embarrassing, that always has a bit too much to drink and always ends up on the table dancing. That is my inner person. I've often wondered why I've been given this sort of personality when I can't live it to the full. I love music. So I would love to be able to dance. And of course, I can dance like, you know, I'll be the first one on the dance floor, but I often look at the level of grace and poise that a person has when they're a dancer. My disability. Let's just say I'm a long way from graceful. I'm klutzy and, you know, I would not be a very good princess because I still half the things down my top. There are a lot of things that I wish were different. I wish it was easier to date. And people weren't so bloody judgemental. I'm also pretty envious of other people's ability to exercise. And I know this is probably pretty hypocritical of me, right? Because technically I can swim. And that's a really valid and important form of exercise that I'm sure many people would love the opportunity to have. But I can't lie. I would love to think that I would be a person that would check on the runners and go for a walk. The ability to be fit and healthy just inherently would be amazing. I watch what I eat, and I'm very conscious of my health. But let's face it, I'm not even really burning calories because I don't even walk to the fridge. But again, this is why I know that I am lucky because I have the ability to get things out of my fridge, to cook a meal and to feed myself.
Other things that I am envious of. Well, I mean, you know, it comes to mind, and this is probably a very unique thing to me because a lot of people aren't like me. They don't yearn to travel like I do. At heart, I think I'm pretty nomadic. I'm happiest when I'm not at home. I have a friend. She has had such amazing experiences all across the world. She's slept in an Indian palace for God's sake. As somebody with a master's in tourism. I can't help but feel a little bit envious on her ability to be able to just jump on a plane. She just needs to say for a ticket, grab her passport, and she's off. I have had many conversations with my parents. During this period, as we look to open up here in Melbourne after COVID, about where we will travel to next. And yes, I realise that is a really privileged conversation to have that, you know, I have parents that have first have the financial ability to take me on a holiday, but secondly have parents that are healthy and willing and able to help me. But I can't lie listening to another friend who is planning to go to Vegas to see Lady Gaga in concert. I would have killed to go and say Lady Gaga in concert in Vegas. I would have flown from Melbourne through L.A., probably to Vegas, spent a few days with my friend. Embracing all that is Las Vegas, the cheesiness and I would have worn over sequins. I just I really wish that I could go see my friend in the UK and see what her life has been since she moved there six years ago. I wish I could be in control and say, no, it's my turn. I'm going to go visit you.
And let's face it, there's lots of other bigger problems going on in the world today than my inability to go on a holiday. But when we start to open up and go back to normal. You know, that's when I do really feel my disability and how different I am for my able-bodied friends. So many people have it harder than I do. I'm extremely lucky. And that's where I feel really uncomfortable talking about the things I wish I had. What right do I have to complain? When so many of the things that I take for granted, people would kill for. So while yes, there's lots of things I'm envious of and yes, I would love that night of dancing on tables. In the end, it really doesn't define anything or determine anything. You know, I have no doubt that I will feel sick the day before this episode goes out. Because I have no right to complain. I am one of the lucky ones. There are so many other issues that are far more important than my little elements of my life that I wish I could change. But they go. I'm human and I always say I'll answer any question. Even if they make me super uncomfortable.
I hope you enjoyed this week's episode. If you did, can I encourage you to leave a rating and review? If you listen on Apple podcasts, it all helps more people discover the podcasts and to be honest, I really love reading your feedback. It's part of the reason why I love what I do. I do this because after all, or if writing and reviewing isn't quite you following me on Instagram or share the podcast with a friend, it all helps and I truly appreciate you all listening. Until next week, guys have a good one by.